OH BY GOSH BY GOLLY

It is time for some mistletoe and holly.....I have been such a slacker blogger I have now finished my 8 weeks of training. 2 of them were 60 hour weeks and the other 6 were 80 hour weeks. I really do not know how I got through it, but I did. It was not as bad as I thought. However, I mean what I say, It is time for some for mistletoe and holly....We are headed to Louisiana tomorrow afternoon. We probably will not get there until early Monday morning but we are EXCITED!!! My sister and I have are in charge this year so we are ready. I will update you on are trip and pictures when I get back, but once again I want to leave you with pictures of our decorations. The house is not decorated as much as I want but then I again I have only spent like 6 hours in it a night for the 8 weeks so I have an excuse.

The most wondeful woman I know....

Let me tell you about this awesome woman. She goes by the name of Amanda Gail. To me, she is everything. I can't imagine living this life without her. She is smart, witty, humble, full of integrity, stylish, and always willing to serve. She is gorgeous! Baby, I hope you know that I love you more than words can describe. These last few weeks have been busy. Thank you for being my best friend. Thanks for your endless service. I love you.

The Festivities

Sorry it has been so long since my update. Life has been crazy busy. I have started my new part-time job. I am really blessed because I love it! I like my co-workers and the job seems pretty cool and not to hard. However, I have only been there a week, so you never know. As far as the invitro stuff goes. I am on 9 pills a day. I take four in the morning and five at night. It has not been too bad except I have had some nausea. It got so bad I called my doctor and they had me take my pills at different times, so it seems to be better. Milton only has to take two. I start my shots this Wednesday. Luckily I am not scared of shots.

Anyways, I do not know if anyone knows this, but Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, I really get into it. So I am going to leave you with some pics of our decorations. There is a lot more but I will only give you a few

These pumpkins went around our porch lights. They were totally cute.

This is are little ghost and graveyard in the front yard.

These lights were all over our entry way. I don't know if you can see the spiderwebs but they were all over our entry way too.

A Recent Turn of Events

Okay you know how last week I said that I did not get the job, well I actually did!! It was a mistake that I got the email! They said for some reason the email was sent out to various people. So I will be even more busy because I will work 40 hrs at one job and 20 hrs at another. I start October 27 and then I have to go through training for 5 weeks starting on November 10. It is 40 hrs. a week for training. That is going to be kind of hard because I will work 8-4 at one job and 4-12 a.m. at another job. It will be hard. I will have to go back to my college energy days but I am so happy about this job. I am really excited!!! Plus I know that schedule is only temporary.

Other news is that we are starting IVF to have a baby. All of this is happening so quickly. Two weeks ago I thought that I did not get a job and that it was going to be a while until IVF and then last Monday I found out that I did get the job and we are going for IVF (invitro fertilization). I thought it would be another two weeks before we started any of the process but I was wrong. Today is 25th day of my cycle and he does not even want to wait for my period to come. We are going ahead and inducing it. I started a new pill last night called Prometrium. The side effects are kind of scary but I am trusting my doctor and Heavenly Father to guide him. As soon as I start my period I have to start taking birth control. They want to force my body into a menopausel state. So I feel sorry for my loved ones. I get my IVF schedule soon and I will let everyone know more about it. So I need everyones prayers because I am starting this new job and IVF all at the same time. I am taking this job in hopes that I get pregnant in the next 7 to 8 weeks and then quit my other job and just work part-time.

In other news, I have been decorating the house for Halloween. I love Halloween and I would post pictures but I let my mom borrow my camera 3 months ago and when she returned it she left a lot of stuff out like my usb cable. Don't worry I will get it back soon!

Turn The Frown Upside Down

Okay yesterday was not my finest hour. First bad news of the days was that I did not get my part-time job that I wanted. I was okay with it. I prayed that Heavenly Father would do what was best for me. I know that is what he did. That job would have been hard to do with my full job right now. I would have worked 8-4 then 6-10 every day. However, I really wanted it. It was a good job that I could have eventually just worked for them. So I brush that off thinking that my momma would have been so proud.

So I leave work to go to my doctor to see where my follicles are. Now I should tell you on Friday, there were three follicles. So I go to the doctor...more bad news. He looks at me and says "Sorry Amanda there is nothing." NOTHING!! I can not believe it. So I take that news okay. I am a little upset but I brush it off. Again I think my mother would be proud! She has been getting onto to me about being hormonal and freaking out to much.

So I head home thinking about the whole situation. By the way at the doctors he gave me two choices and he wants my decision soon so we can prepare for it next month. I will get into this more later. It is long and complicated. So it will be in a new blog another day. So then I get home to my baby, my dog. If anyone really knows me, they know this dog is my life. I love her more than anything. I mean she has her own insurance and dental. Anyway. I get home and she is depressed. She is really not acting herself. So I take her outside to play to only find out that she has started her period, which is not fun.

Then I get my check in the mail to find out that it is $220 less than usually which is a total shock considering I am suppose to get a raise. So that's it! My last straw! I freak! Call my mother. I get calmed down and she reminds me that it is really not that bad of a day. That I did not lose my job, no one died, I do not have some horrible major illness, and Heavenly Father has blessed me on beyond belief.

Thanks mom....cause your are always right. life is good and if these are my biggest trials, I will take them any day.

It's one of those things you never would think it would happend to you but it did

So today something that I never thought would happen, did happen! And No I am not pregnant. So as everyone knows I work at a middle school with teenagers. So today during lunch, the teenagers were in my room eating lunch. I was sitting there talking to them as usual, when one of the students grabbed the water bottle off my desk. I asked why was the student taking my water, when he pointed to another student and said "Look Miss..He is choking." At this point I look at one of my students who is clutching their throat turning purple. I look around the room and realize I am the only adult. So I calmly ask the student can you cough or talk, at which he shook his head no. I instruct one of my students to call the nurse. I should say this, the events that took place after this I feel are truly from Heavenly Father. I know I could not have done this exactly without him guiding my hands.

So I go behind my student, tilt him forward, and proceed to do the Heimlich manuever. I do one thrust which causes the student to choke up food. I ask the student again if he can talk. He shakes his head no. So I proceeded to do two more thrust causing the student to vomit and choke up more food. After this the student could finally talk. By this time, the nurse arrives and I am grateful that the student is able to talk.

So thanks to my mother who always did her job to teach me first aid, my friend Adreinne who gave me a CPR class for my birthday, and Heavenly Father for allowing me to be an aid in his hands and not allowing a tradegy to take place.

This is Dedicated to....

my new mother! That's right, I have a new mother. I don't have a picture of her right now, but I can tell you that I am named after her (my middle name). Why do you ask , I have a new mother? Well I will tell you of the event that took place at 4:50 p.m. that lead to this huge decision.

So I get off at work around 4 or 4:30. I have a LONG drive home on back country roads. So usually I call my (she who must not be named). However, within five minutes she usually has to go. So why would I think today is any different. So this is how it went and from here on out (she who must not be named) will be called ...neglectful

We join the scene five minutes into the conversation

Me: So anyways, what are you doing tonight?

Neglectful: I don't know, Anyways, your dad just got home and I want to go to talk to him.

Me: What?!! Why?!! Can you pretty pretty please stay on the phone just 13 minutes more. Just 13 minutes. Please. I miss and love you so much. I just want a little company. Milton is gone and I have no friends. You are it...just a little while longer

Neglectful: NO!!! Gosh you are annoying. Why did I have you. Go call your Aunt (now my new mom). Maybe she can love the unworthy. Click.

I know!! All of you can pick your mouth off the ground. See the abuse I put up with. Can I help it that I love her so much that I crave everything I can get. So I decided to call my new mom sobbing uncontrollable to tell her of the abuse I have endured at the hand of her sibling.

You know what she told me. (She who must not be named) does not know how good she had it. I would love to have a daughter like you that would call me on the way home. That wants to spend as much time as see can with me. She does not know how good she has it. I will be your new mom.

So thanks new mom for consoling me and giving me the bright idea to write this blog to release my deep down buried feelings.

I know, I know! All of you are in shock and horror. However, try not to judge to hashly. I hear (she who must not be named) is hitting the sauce.

BFN

For all those who are not in the infertility world that means a BIG FAT NEGATIVE. I am not pregnant, but really I am good with it. The doctor is going to give me some medicine to bring Aunto Flo and then I start Clomid again. Thanks for everyone's support. Especially you Lynsie!!! It is always great to have someone get excited with. I am so grateful to have someone to talk about this with who understands because if you are not going through this...you can not possible understand. I feel like we (Lynsie and I) are going to be blessed really soon!!! I can just feel it.

Other than that, Life is just going on normal. I am sick tonight. So I will probably have something easy for dinner because Milton is at school, take a relaxing bath, and then hit the hay!

In Case You Were Wondering...

I do not know if I am pregnant. But let me buffer it with this....I DO NOT think for a second that I am. I am not having any symptoms and my period has always been screwy. I took a test a week ago but it was negative. However Aunt Flo is still not here! So I called my doctor and he said to take a test in the morning and if it's negative he will give me medicine to make her rear her ugly head. Then we will try again next month. At first, I was bummed when that there is a BIG possibility that I am not preg, but now I am okay. I have a good life and I am grateful for everything I have blessed with. I am grateful that I have had time with my husband and a chance to get to know eachother.

Anyways, we are back from Utah. (We went to Utah, in case you did not know). We said goodbye to Milton's parents. They are going to Samoa for 18 months. We will miss them! They are so excited for them though. They are going on their mission and have wanted to go forever. Anyways, not much else to report. I feel awful tonight. I feel really sick. Uggggg! Anyways, I hope I am not coming down with anything.

Happiness Is....

puppies

a baby belly giggling

bannana dum-dum pops

a new good movie

a old good movie

coming home to food that only your mom can make

finding out that someone said something good about you

discovering a new delicious easy recipe

making someone laugh

a good backrub

a surprise

finding a outfit on sale that makes you look totally good

getting a compliment on previous outfit

accomplishing a big goal

discovering a great new restaurant

curling up on a rainy day on the couch with a good book

the perfect fall day

the perfect spring day

inside jokes

hugs

a great hair day

making someone's day

....OKAY IT'S YOUR TURN. ONLY YOU CAN'T LIST THE OBVIOUS, LIKE KIDS. FINISH THIS STATEMENT...HAPPINESS IS....

My mom came up with this. I love it!!

We have Lift OFF!!!

Okay so my doctor called and I am ovulating!!! I have to have some fun tonight and wait 12-13 days and if Aunt Flo has not come to visit then I get to take my first official pregnancy test. I am so excited. I know that there are tons of women out there that ovulate every month and do not get pregnant, but this is my first month so I have a right to be doing backhand springs down the hallway. It has taken along time to just get my body here...a normal function that most women do every month. I know that this does not guarantee pregnancy, but there is something comforting about knowing that it is more of a possibility this months than any other that I have had before. I woke up this day and felt so excited. I just kind of knew.

Still, I need to be selfish for a little while longer and ask that to whoever you pray to....pray that I can get this egg fertilized! Thank you for all the prayers in my behalf already. I added this picture because that is exactly how I feel. I just need to catch one...

Keep your hands, fingers, legs, toes, ears, eyes,....

and anything that crosses, crossed. So today I went to the doctor to have my follicles looked at. So they couldn't find any! I was kind of worried because on Saturday there was three. However, after closer look they found some fluid, which means that I have probably all ready ovulated or I am about too. Which is great news. However, I can not get my hopes up too much. They did blood work to see if I am. I find out tomorrow. Until then, I have been given doctors orders to do the deed just in case I am stil ovulating. I am SOOOOOO excited. I am trying not to be because if it comes back that I am not ovulating, this month is probably a bust because they could not find any follicles.

So I am begging everyone that reads this to send the message to everyone they know....please, please, please pray that I have ovulated and I can get theses eggs ovulated.

Blessing in disguise

So this past Friday, my mom drove the grueling 7 hrs to come to see me. I was so excited!! It was the best early birthday present. However, a few hours after my mom arrived, we were in the emergency room. It is a long story that I really do not want to go in. My mom was in so much pain that she was forced on bedrest. She was also forced to stay longer than expected, because of the pain. I felt bad she was in so much pain, but I was grateful that I got to see her longer. I have had so much fun having her all to myself, and I do not want her to go. I hate it when she leaves and it takes forever for me to get over it.

She also gave me another great gift. She wrote the best blog, all about ME!! I was so surprised because I woke up from a nap, and she asked me to read her blog. I was crying so hard. It was so great to hear such wonderful things about me. I know that sounds prideful, but it literally brought me to tears being able to read someone's love for me. You can read it at thehillmansion.blogspot.com and make sure you have your volume up.

Milton also surprised. We are pretty limited in what we can do because my mom is on bed rest. So we ordered pizza, which I love. Milton surprised me with cake and ice cream and three presents. He got me my favorite candy and a computer game that I have been wanting. I was so surprised. I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life, that take time out of there day to let me know how special they think I am. I have more celebrations tomorrow so I will post pictures soon!!!

On to fertility matters, (because I like to keep people updated) So, last week I started Provera to bring on a heavy cycle, to get rid of my uterus lining. The doctor told me it was going to be bad. I just I did not realize how bad. I won't go into to details because, that is just gross, but I will tell you that everything on my body that can hurt this week, has hurt. Also it feels like 300 lb. man has been sitting on my lap all week. I am back on the Clomid and I see the doctor Saturday. So I will update you when I know more.

Topsie Turvey

Okay life has been kind of busy and depressing for me, but after a good talking from my mother I am back on track.

So last week I started bleeding pretty bad. So the doctor told me to come in so he could take a look. So when I went in they found out the my uterus lining is REALLY THICK. He ran some test and we still do not know why, but it is not normal and not bad but not good for those trying to get pregnant. Anyways, I have to take medicine this week that is going to start a heavy heavy bleed to shed the entire lining and then I start clomid again. So that is good news. I do not have to wait an entire month to start again.

Then the apartment that we stayed at while our house was being built is trying to say we owe them $500 over incidentals when we only lived there 5 months. We are seeing a lawyer over it but it is such a burden. So last week I was in kind of in a funk. I think I surprised my dad when he asked me how my day was I busted out in tears. That is so not like me. I think it is the hormones and everything that was going on. I felt a lot better afterwards.

Anyways, I am sick of talking about depressing news. This week has been good. I went and checked out like a million books from the library to read. I love to read. Then Milton and I just stayed in this weekend. I love that!!! We watched movies, baked cookies, and tonight Milton is going to grill. I love when he drills!!! So ummmm.....what other good news to I have...Hmmm...Can't think of anything. I am grateful for my relaxing weekend, my wonderful husband, caring family, and Heavenly Father.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I will have to get to the good a little bit later..it will not make sense without the bad.

The BAD: Okay so I went to the doctor on Monday. They measured my dominant follicle. The follicle measure 11mm, which is good for the cycle day I was on. So they told me to come back on Friday cycle day 14. So I went in this morning and they measure the follicle again and again it was 11 mm. Which is not good! My follicle should be at 22 mm considering that I should be ovaluting today or this weekend. So I will bring in the good a little later.

The Ugly: This can feel like I am failing a test. I am such a perfectionist. But I can not study for this or whip my eggs into shape. All this is on me or at least I feel that way. So every month that comes up with no pregnancy I feel a little bit like a failure. I know what everyone is saying..don't think that way..you can not take the blame. No matter what you say...this is the way I feel. This is the ugly...Infertility. If it was pretty everyone would want it.

The Good: Okay, ya'll can stop biting your nails. So as I am laying there on the table, as the nurse is telling me all of this. So I ask her is this it... no babies for this month. However, is says that no we can wait one more week. Sometimes, women ovulate later than others. So they told me to wait one more week come back next Friday and see how the follicle measures up. Everyone keeps telling me I am disappointed or upset. I'm not. I actually okay with it. This is the reason...this is our first month of trying something. It is not our last nor is it our last option. If is was our last....then I would be a blubbery mess. There is still a chance. So even if Friday turns out to be a bust, we still have time and options..

You got me feeling Emotions

That's right sing it Mariah. I can not figure out how I feel this week. I am on my two week vacation, which has been so great waking up late and then Milton surprised me with Dance Dance revolution. I have been wanting it for a while. So great surprise!!! He is already better at it than me, like most things. That's okay because I have the week off and Milton does not so I will be the "Dancing Queen" after I practice this week. Then my parents came on Thursday. I love when my family comes. We have the best time! I took my brothers to this place called Main Event where I had $50 gift certificate to the arcade. The have a great arcade. We also played laser tag. I came in number 2 against a bunch of teenagers. I also won like 700 tickets. I only used like 300 of them to by these really neat cups.

Sounds great, Right? However, my family left this morning on their way to a fanastic vacation that we take every year that I can not go to. It was hard saying good bye. I wanted to go so bad!!!! They are with my uncle and aunt and my counsins. They are going to being doing all kinds of stuff. My mom said you never know why you were meant to stay behind. Maybe something the mountains would make it harder to get pregnant right now. Then I will be at the doctor almost every day this week to have my switch kit looked at. Which is exciting because it could potential lead to baby timoteo. Every body cross your fingers. Then I finally get my sister to come to see me but she won't get here until midnight and then we have to take here to the airport at 4 a.m. so she can fly out to this fabulous vacation with my family. But she has had to miss the past two years so I am actually excited for her.

I finished the Clomid. I have been up in down in emotions. but that is not the worst. The worst has been the nausea. I woke my mom up at 2:30 a.m because I was about to vomit. All this work and no baby. Also I was feeling so sick and tired from the medicine I did not want to do anything for the fourth of July.

Aunt Flo!!!

I have never been so happy to see her. So she came to visit on Saturday and come early Monday morning, I called the doctor. I think he was excited that I actually started by myself because I was going to have to take some medicine to induce it. So I started Clomid last night. I take it for the rest of this week at night and then Monday I go into the doctor. On Monday, he will measure my follicles to see when we should have "relations". I will have to go in 3 to 4 times this week because he needs to measure them almost every day. We have to get this right! . So from what the doctor said there will be days where he tells us to do it and days to with hold. So I am excited!!! Everyone keeps telling me to not get my hopes up. I am so excited that that we are finally doing something other than test. I keep trying not to get excited but I am. I just feel this sense of excitement that I can not get rid of. But as for the people that tell me not to get excited, I am disappointed every new month anyways. I am sorry for some of the initimate details but all the people that usually read my blog are women and I am just writing about the reality of infertility.

So to day is the first day of my vacation. I am off for two weeks. Today I just sat around. I am making pulled pork sandwhiches and cleaning for when my family comes. Thursday, my mom and dad and brothers are coming. They are staying here for few days on their way to Colorado. We were suppose to go, but things kept coming up and now I am glad that we are not going because I do not want to be around family during the next week. Anyways, that is all there is to report. Sorry for no pictures.

Meatloaf

Life has been crazy! First off I cooked my first meatloaf. It is not that I do not know how to cook. I am a good cook, but I have never had a desire to cook one. I did it with turkey ground beef. I was a nervous about it, but it turned out great. Well at least that was what I was told. Then my brother-in-law Thomas and his wife Rosemarie came with their new baby, who is gorgeous. What a doll. We cooked alot, watched movies, played with the baby, ate ourselves silly, learn Samoan dancing with a little bit Tahitian, stayed up late, and all-in-all had a blast. So Rosemarie and me decided to get pedicures. While we are there, Rosemarie is like let's get our eyebrows down. Well, I have never had my eyebrows done. I have always liked mine a little thicker, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and get them done. I wish I had a camera when my husband saw me. He just asked what happened? The whole way home he stared at me. When we got home he told me that I constantly looked surprise and why did I get them so thin? They are bad. They look great. He is just never seen them like this.

So this is my eyebrows before

This is the after. They are not that bad. Tell him

I could not help but post this picture. Look at her eyes. Aren't they hilarious?

She is only four months and look at that hair. Estella with her favorite uncle

And then we ended the week by throwing rosemarie a quick surprise party.

Journey to the Land of the Barren

Okay, so I started this blog because I got sick of reading all the blogs that have the little bouncing baby on it that says The Blank Baby 93 days to go. I wanted to talk about what it is like not to be the typical fertile woman and get pregnant just winking at my husband. I want to talk about my journey so far. So this blog will be long. I apolygize in advance.

So as of right now we having been trying to get pregnant for 54 months. That is the first thing people who are going through this want to know. For 48 of those months, it was really just the good old fashion trying. Then I was offered a job with the company I am at now. It was not as much money as I could make and it was a bachelor's level job but I felt like I needed to take it. After I took the job, I found out it covers infertility treatments. So, I made an appointment without knowing what to expect. My first appointment was nothing more that telling me what was going to happen for the next couple of months. So for the next couple of months I went in for once a week basically. The first couple of months is nothing but running test. At first he took a sample of my uterus lining. Painful!!! This is the procedure that came back showing I had polyps. This comes in later. Then he took about 12 tubes of blood to run a bunch of test. It was so much that the lady taking it asked what was wrong with me. All my bloodwork came back good. Then they did a dye test, which was kind of painful but more embarassing that anything. A dye test is when they stick this ballon thing inside your uterus and squirt dye to look at your tubes and look through x-ray machine to make sure yor tubes are unblocked. Mine were great. No blockage what so ever. I just hate that I have to be awake during all of this. Then Milton had to have his test. Which turned out great! He is perfect in that department. Then the doctor wanted to do a thing called the fluid test (very similiar to the dye test) to confirm the polyps. This one was very painful!!! So once that was confirmed, I was scheduled for surgery to remove them. During all this they stop your period and then sometimes they start it heavy. They tell you when to have relations and when to not to. They give you different medicines. Its all so crazy.

So all my test came back good except the ones detecting the polyps. The surgery was suppose to remove them but since I have so many the doctor could not remove them all. So this is when some of the bad news comes in. Even though I am pretty clear of polyps right now, there is a HUGE chance they can back. The polyps are ONE of the reasons that I have not been able to get pregnant (When you are infertile you learn that they can never be just ONE reason). An embryo needs a clean uterus lining to stick to. Mine was not clean. So the next step is the hardest...the waiting. So now we have to wait to see if my monthly visitors comes and if she does not. Then the doctor with make that happen. Once that happens, the doctor will give me Clomid to take on certain days with timed relations. I will do this cycle for three months or until I get pregnant (which ever comes first).

If I am not pregnant, in three months, we start the invitro process, which is a whole new blog. Right now I am on five different medications just to start preparing. I am sorry for the long blog, but I wanted to let those who go through the same thing as me to have something to read. I also want to let those who are thinking about going to an infertiliy specialist know that you have to be dedicated. Sometimes even though your wonderful dedicated husband is standing in the room at the doctors appointments, you can feel alone.

You Are Looking at the newest....

LMSW which stands for License Master Social Worker. Let me explain how big a deal this is. So in social work there is different levels. So at first you graduate with your bachelors in social work. You have to have the degree in social work. After you graduate with this degree, you are a LBSW. So then you can either stay at this level or go to graduate school and get your master's degree. So that is what I did! Went to get my master's degree. Well after you graduate you can not practice as a social worker with a master's degree until you take this test. This really really hard test.

So today I took the test and gues what....I PASSED!!!! I am now officially an LMSW. I can not tell you what a BIG deal this is. This is HUGE in the social work world!!! I can now do therapy!! Anyways, today is such a great day. You are now looking at the newest LMSW...

You wanna see my grill

Okay let's get this out the way. Surgery went okay. There was a lot of polyps. Apparently, my uterus is a gold mine for polyps. I am however already seeing improvement. I will find out more once I go to the doctor on Friday.

So tonight we grilled. Milton is the best griller. I love his food. Plus I don't have to cook. So tonight we just sat out in the backyard, with the Texas evening breeze blowing, and grilled some grub. It was delicious.

I have been pondering things lately. My mom is always getting onto about stressing out too much. I can not help it. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain aspects of my life, especially when it comes to me. So if anything goes wrong, I do everything to try to fix it. I do mean everything. I stress, research, write letters, pace, practically go out of my mind. So my mom is always telling me to take it easy...relax...don't worry. So I have been pondering yoga. I have NEVER been a yoga person. I want to learn how to relax. I find myself knotted up for the littlest things now. I have tried pilates. It is okay. I don't know but I have to do something.

I'll Cut You

So how is life treating everyone? It is going good in the Timoteo house. I just came from Baton Rouge to see my family and now they are coming tomorrow. I am so excited. Of course the reason she is coming is because I have to have surgery. Don't worry folks. Nothing major, only minor, but I have one of those great moms that is coming over to take care of me. So even though I will be drugged, I get to see her. I would have surgery once a month just to see her. This surgery is suppose to help with infertility. I am so trying not to get my hopes up. I hate it when doctors give you this little glipse of hope. It is like Christmas night that takes months to come, only usually Santa forgets to so up. So what is everyones vacation plans? We don't know ours right now. Everything is up in the air. So we will see, but I hope we get to go on a few little vacations. I love to travel!!

Nothing is going on tonight really. I am making tacos. Milton is at work until late. I am watching Reba and then "So You Think You Can Dance" Then off to bed.

What A Day!!

Okay, so today was kind of crappy. Sorry for using such strong language but that is how I feel. Somedays it is so hard to work with teenagers. They are these little smart mouth monsters barging in and demanding things like you owe it to them. This new job is more of a struggle than what I thought it would be. When I worked in the hospital, I had a knacked for it. It came to me naturally. Helping people come up with a plan for life changing illnesses was something that I loved. Grief counseling was easy because I could offer that shoulder to cry on. However, working with teenagers has not come as natural to me. I find myself wanting to lecture rather than listen. I find myself wanting to teach rather than learn....having expectation rather than just supporting their decisions. How much help can I really be in this mind frame? So I decided to turn a new leaf. I decided to be the one bright smile in their day and mean it. I am a therapist...I am here to heal, not to be one more adult in there life that they can not talk to.

So the day started off crappy but ended with the best surprise. I came home to my husband (the good looking man above) cooking me dinner. He sat me outside on my new patio chair and had me relax while he did it all. Here is the menu...hamburgers, brauts, corn on the cob, and french fries. He even had music playing. After dinner, he completely cleaned up all by himself. Then he sat me on the couch and brought me a pillow and turned on my favorite TV show. So I came home all stressed out and within an hour I was completely relaxed. So to quote my coworker Alesha ..."You (or I) have the best husband." Thank goodness for my great husband who is so willing to serve just to help me relax. And guess where he is now...out working. He is so unselfish. I am so glad to have had the past 7 years (2 years dating and almost 5 years of marriage) with him. I know that he is just as tired as I am but he put himself aside just to make sure I was comfortable. I love him so much!! I am so lucky...

Word To Your Mother

Today is a very unique day. Today everybody in the world has something in commong. Whether we like them or not, we ALL have mothers. There is no way to be here if we did not. Not everyone is a mother, but we all have one. As a wise person pointed out to me, I am lucky to still have mine in my life and I am lucky to have such a great mother. So I decided to blog about the impact she has had on my life.

1. My mother has made me independent. Because of her, I know that I am the only one who can make me happy. She has taught me to never depend on anyone for my happiness. Go after the things that I want.

2. To always make sure that I develop a relationship with my Heavenly Father. She is constantly in her scriptures and seeking after things that are good. Not a time goes by when she is giving me advice that she does not tell me about a scripture she read. I aspire to be like that.

3. Gratitude. My mom has helped me develop a deep sense of gratitude. Often when I want to look at the things that I lack, she is quick to remind of my abundance of blessings. She has also taugt me to appreciate the little things in life.

4. I am well-rounded person because of her. I love old movies, old music, modern movies, modern music, plays. I can get along with almost anyone and find something in common with them. She has always been fascinated by others culture and stories.

5. Always put family first. They are the only ones that will always look past your warts and only see true beauty.

6. She has taught me to laugh at myself. Never to take myself to serious. Never take life too seriously. Always seek after the good.

7. It is okay to have yourself a good cry. It is good for the soul.

8. I know how to organize and clean a house, but I also know how to ignore that stuff and go have a good time. Housework will always be there. Memories are important to make.

9. Birthdays are a very special day. I know how to make someones day special. My mom always and still does it for us.

10. My mom is the best nurse I know, not just professionally. When I was sick, she always knew how to make me feel better.

11. I know how to make great memories. My mom has made great memories. I had a great childhood with lost of fun.

I could keep going but what I am trying to say....I am a very lucky girl to have such a great mom. So here is to you mom. Your hard work does not go unnoticed. I love you so much mom.

Obsession

Okay I have a big obsession. I thought at first it was just a like or a love but now I go out of my way to get it. I must confess. I am obsessed with dum dum suckers. I can not get enough of them. I buy like three to four paks a week. However, I only like certain flavors....bananna, cream soda, cherry cola, cotton candy, bubble gum, pineapple coconut, and strawberry. The rest I won't touch. Others have started to notice my love for them. I have them all the time. And when I was in graduate school, I got my whole graduate class addicted. So now I have infected others. I have tried to stop but I can't. I will start craving them like crazy. I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to get that out there.

Another reason I started this blog is because I got sick of reading other peoples blog who were tracking or announcing their pregnancy. It is so hard to read other peoples blog and not have anyone to relate to. Everyone is pregnant! No one is having trouble conceiving. Somedays or better than others. Sometimes I love the fact that I have had so much time with just Milton and me. I mean we have had some good times and great memories. I am grateful that we can go do things and not worry about getting someone to watch a baby. However, there are moments that I freak out. I think man we are going to married five years here soon and NO children. There are couples I know that are on their second or third child. Oh and I hate when people try to give advice about it like they know how it feels. It never helps. Even the success stories don't help. It is just one more couple that has a baby and I don't. I have been asked the question to I feel that I will ever have kids? I have asked myself that question a thousand times and I always come to the same answer....I don't know

First time for everything

Okay so this is our first post. I imagine I will be doing most of the posting, but we look forward to keeping everyone updated on what is doing on in our lives.