Meatloaf

Life has been crazy! First off I cooked my first meatloaf. It is not that I do not know how to cook. I am a good cook, but I have never had a desire to cook one. I did it with turkey ground beef. I was a nervous about it, but it turned out great. Well at least that was what I was told. Then my brother-in-law Thomas and his wife Rosemarie came with their new baby, who is gorgeous. What a doll. We cooked alot, watched movies, played with the baby, ate ourselves silly, learn Samoan dancing with a little bit Tahitian, stayed up late, and all-in-all had a blast. So Rosemarie and me decided to get pedicures. While we are there, Rosemarie is like let's get our eyebrows down. Well, I have never had my eyebrows done. I have always liked mine a little thicker, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and get them done. I wish I had a camera when my husband saw me. He just asked what happened? The whole way home he stared at me. When we got home he told me that I constantly looked surprise and why did I get them so thin? They are bad. They look great. He is just never seen them like this.

So this is my eyebrows before

This is the after. They are not that bad. Tell him

I could not help but post this picture. Look at her eyes. Aren't they hilarious?

She is only four months and look at that hair. Estella with her favorite uncle

And then we ended the week by throwing rosemarie a quick surprise party.

Journey to the Land of the Barren

Okay, so I started this blog because I got sick of reading all the blogs that have the little bouncing baby on it that says The Blank Baby 93 days to go. I wanted to talk about what it is like not to be the typical fertile woman and get pregnant just winking at my husband. I want to talk about my journey so far. So this blog will be long. I apolygize in advance.

So as of right now we having been trying to get pregnant for 54 months. That is the first thing people who are going through this want to know. For 48 of those months, it was really just the good old fashion trying. Then I was offered a job with the company I am at now. It was not as much money as I could make and it was a bachelor's level job but I felt like I needed to take it. After I took the job, I found out it covers infertility treatments. So, I made an appointment without knowing what to expect. My first appointment was nothing more that telling me what was going to happen for the next couple of months. So for the next couple of months I went in for once a week basically. The first couple of months is nothing but running test. At first he took a sample of my uterus lining. Painful!!! This is the procedure that came back showing I had polyps. This comes in later. Then he took about 12 tubes of blood to run a bunch of test. It was so much that the lady taking it asked what was wrong with me. All my bloodwork came back good. Then they did a dye test, which was kind of painful but more embarassing that anything. A dye test is when they stick this ballon thing inside your uterus and squirt dye to look at your tubes and look through x-ray machine to make sure yor tubes are unblocked. Mine were great. No blockage what so ever. I just hate that I have to be awake during all of this. Then Milton had to have his test. Which turned out great! He is perfect in that department. Then the doctor wanted to do a thing called the fluid test (very similiar to the dye test) to confirm the polyps. This one was very painful!!! So once that was confirmed, I was scheduled for surgery to remove them. During all this they stop your period and then sometimes they start it heavy. They tell you when to have relations and when to not to. They give you different medicines. Its all so crazy.

So all my test came back good except the ones detecting the polyps. The surgery was suppose to remove them but since I have so many the doctor could not remove them all. So this is when some of the bad news comes in. Even though I am pretty clear of polyps right now, there is a HUGE chance they can back. The polyps are ONE of the reasons that I have not been able to get pregnant (When you are infertile you learn that they can never be just ONE reason). An embryo needs a clean uterus lining to stick to. Mine was not clean. So the next step is the hardest...the waiting. So now we have to wait to see if my monthly visitors comes and if she does not. Then the doctor with make that happen. Once that happens, the doctor will give me Clomid to take on certain days with timed relations. I will do this cycle for three months or until I get pregnant (which ever comes first).

If I am not pregnant, in three months, we start the invitro process, which is a whole new blog. Right now I am on five different medications just to start preparing. I am sorry for the long blog, but I wanted to let those who go through the same thing as me to have something to read. I also want to let those who are thinking about going to an infertiliy specialist know that you have to be dedicated. Sometimes even though your wonderful dedicated husband is standing in the room at the doctors appointments, you can feel alone.

You Are Looking at the newest....

LMSW which stands for License Master Social Worker. Let me explain how big a deal this is. So in social work there is different levels. So at first you graduate with your bachelors in social work. You have to have the degree in social work. After you graduate with this degree, you are a LBSW. So then you can either stay at this level or go to graduate school and get your master's degree. So that is what I did! Went to get my master's degree. Well after you graduate you can not practice as a social worker with a master's degree until you take this test. This really really hard test.

So today I took the test and gues what....I PASSED!!!! I am now officially an LMSW. I can not tell you what a BIG deal this is. This is HUGE in the social work world!!! I can now do therapy!! Anyways, today is such a great day. You are now looking at the newest LMSW...

You wanna see my grill

Okay let's get this out the way. Surgery went okay. There was a lot of polyps. Apparently, my uterus is a gold mine for polyps. I am however already seeing improvement. I will find out more once I go to the doctor on Friday.

So tonight we grilled. Milton is the best griller. I love his food. Plus I don't have to cook. So tonight we just sat out in the backyard, with the Texas evening breeze blowing, and grilled some grub. It was delicious.

I have been pondering things lately. My mom is always getting onto about stressing out too much. I can not help it. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain aspects of my life, especially when it comes to me. So if anything goes wrong, I do everything to try to fix it. I do mean everything. I stress, research, write letters, pace, practically go out of my mind. So my mom is always telling me to take it easy...relax...don't worry. So I have been pondering yoga. I have NEVER been a yoga person. I want to learn how to relax. I find myself knotted up for the littlest things now. I have tried pilates. It is okay. I don't know but I have to do something.