Okay life has been kind of busy and depressing for me, but after a good talking from my mother I am back on track.
So last week I started bleeding pretty bad. So the doctor told me to come in so he could take a look. So when I went in they found out the my uterus lining is REALLY THICK. He ran some test and we still do not know why, but it is not normal and not bad but not good for those trying to get pregnant. Anyways, I have to take medicine this week that is going to start a heavy heavy bleed to shed the entire lining and then I start clomid again. So that is good news. I do not have to wait an entire month to start again.
Then the apartment that we stayed at while our house was being built is trying to say we owe them $500 over incidentals when we only lived there 5 months. We are seeing a lawyer over it but it is such a burden. So last week I was in kind of in a funk. I think I surprised my dad when he asked me how my day was I busted out in tears. That is so not like me. I think it is the hormones and everything that was going on. I felt a lot better afterwards.
Anyways, I am sick of talking about depressing news. This week has been good. I went and checked out like a million books from the library to read. I love to read. Then Milton and I just stayed in this weekend. I love that!!! We watched movies, baked cookies, and tonight Milton is going to grill. I love when he drills!!! So ummmm.....what other good news to I have...Hmmm...Can't think of anything. I am grateful for my relaxing weekend, my wonderful husband, caring family, and Heavenly Father.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
I will have to get to the good a little bit later..it will not make sense without the bad.
The BAD: Okay so I went to the doctor on Monday. They measured my dominant follicle. The follicle measure 11mm, which is good for the cycle day I was on. So they told me to come back on Friday cycle day 14. So I went in this morning and they measure the follicle again and again it was 11 mm. Which is not good! My follicle should be at 22 mm considering that I should be ovaluting today or this weekend. So I will bring in the good a little later.
The Ugly: This can feel like I am failing a test. I am such a perfectionist. But I can not study for this or whip my eggs into shape. All this is on me or at least I feel that way. So every month that comes up with no pregnancy I feel a little bit like a failure. I know what everyone is saying..don't think that way..you can not take the blame. No matter what you say...this is the way I feel. This is the ugly...Infertility. If it was pretty everyone would want it.
The Good: Okay, ya'll can stop biting your nails. So as I am laying there on the table, as the nurse is telling me all of this. So I ask her is this it... no babies for this month. However, is says that no we can wait one more week. Sometimes, women ovulate later than others. So they told me to wait one more week come back next Friday and see how the follicle measures up. Everyone keeps telling me I am disappointed or upset. I'm not. I actually okay with it. This is the reason...this is our first month of trying something. It is not our last nor is it our last option. If is was our last....then I would be a blubbery mess. There is still a chance. So even if Friday turns out to be a bust, we still have time and options..
The BAD: Okay so I went to the doctor on Monday. They measured my dominant follicle. The follicle measure 11mm, which is good for the cycle day I was on. So they told me to come back on Friday cycle day 14. So I went in this morning and they measure the follicle again and again it was 11 mm. Which is not good! My follicle should be at 22 mm considering that I should be ovaluting today or this weekend. So I will bring in the good a little later.
The Ugly: This can feel like I am failing a test. I am such a perfectionist. But I can not study for this or whip my eggs into shape. All this is on me or at least I feel that way. So every month that comes up with no pregnancy I feel a little bit like a failure. I know what everyone is saying..don't think that way..you can not take the blame. No matter what you say...this is the way I feel. This is the ugly...Infertility. If it was pretty everyone would want it.
The Good: Okay, ya'll can stop biting your nails. So as I am laying there on the table, as the nurse is telling me all of this. So I ask her is this it... no babies for this month. However, is says that no we can wait one more week. Sometimes, women ovulate later than others. So they told me to wait one more week come back next Friday and see how the follicle measures up. Everyone keeps telling me I am disappointed or upset. I'm not. I actually okay with it. This is the reason...this is our first month of trying something. It is not our last nor is it our last option. If is was our last....then I would be a blubbery mess. There is still a chance. So even if Friday turns out to be a bust, we still have time and options..
Saturday, July 5, 2008
You got me feeling Emotions
That's right sing it Mariah. I can not figure out how I feel this week. I am on my two week vacation, which has been so great waking up late and then Milton surprised me with Dance Dance revolution. I have been wanting it for a while. So great surprise!!! He is already better at it than me, like most things. That's okay because I have the week off and Milton does not so I will be the "Dancing Queen" after I practice this week.
Then my parents came on Thursday. I love when my family comes. We have the best time! 
I took my brothers to this place called Main Event where I had $50 gift certificate to the arcade. The have a great arcade. We also played laser tag. I came in number 2 against a bunch of teenagers. I also won like 700 tickets. I only used like 300 of them to by these really neat cups.
Then my parents came on Thursday. I love when my family comes. We have the best time! I took my brothers to this place called Main Event where I had $50 gift certificate to the arcade. The have a great arcade. We also played laser tag. I came in number 2 against a bunch of teenagers. I also won like 700 tickets. I only used like 300 of them to by these really neat cups. Sounds great, Right? However, my family left this morning on their way to a fanastic vacation that we take every year that I can not go to. 
It was hard saying good bye. I wanted to go so bad!!!! They are with my uncle and aunt and my counsins. They are going to being doing all kinds of stuff. My mom said you never know why you were meant to stay behind. Maybe something the mountains would make it harder to get pregnant right now. Then I will be at the doctor almost every day this week to have my switch kit looked at. Which is exciting because it could potential lead to baby timoteo. Every body cross your fingers. Then I finally get my sister to come to see me but she won't get here until midnight and then we have to take here to the airport at 4 a.m. so she can fly out to this fabulous vacation with my family. But she has had to miss the past two years so I am actually excited for her.
It was hard saying good bye. I wanted to go so bad!!!! They are with my uncle and aunt and my counsins. They are going to being doing all kinds of stuff. My mom said you never know why you were meant to stay behind. Maybe something the mountains would make it harder to get pregnant right now. Then I will be at the doctor almost every day this week to have my switch kit looked at. Which is exciting because it could potential lead to baby timoteo. Every body cross your fingers. Then I finally get my sister to come to see me but she won't get here until midnight and then we have to take here to the airport at 4 a.m. so she can fly out to this fabulous vacation with my family. But she has had to miss the past two years so I am actually excited for her.I finished the Clomid. I have been up in down in emotions. but that is not the worst. The worst has been the nausea. I woke my mom up at 2:30 a.m because I was about to vomit. All this work and no baby. Also I was feeling so sick and tired from the medicine I did not want to do anything for the fourth of July.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Aunt Flo!!!
I have never been so happy to see her. So she came to visit on Saturday and come early Monday morning, I called the doctor. I think he was excited that I actually started by myself because I was going to have to take some medicine to induce it. So I started Clomid last night. I take it for the rest of this week at night and then Monday I go into the doctor. On Monday, he will measure my follicles to see when we should have "relations". I will have to go in 3 to 4 times this week because he needs to measure them almost every day. We have to get this right! . So from what the doctor said there will be days where he tells us to do it and days to with hold. So I am excited!!! Everyone keeps telling me to not get my hopes up. I am so excited that that we are finally doing something other than test. I keep trying not to get excited but I am. I just feel this sense of excitement that I can not get rid of. But as for the people that tell me not to get excited, I am disappointed every new month anyways. I am sorry for some of the initimate details but all the people that usually read my blog are women and I am just writing about the reality of infertility.
So to day is the first day of my vacation. I am off for two weeks. Today I just sat around. I am making pulled pork sandwhiches and cleaning for when my family comes. Thursday, my mom and dad and brothers are coming. They are staying here for few days on their way to Colorado. We were suppose to go, but things kept coming up and now I am glad that we are not going because I do not want to be around family during the next week. Anyways, that is all there is to report. Sorry for no pictures.
So to day is the first day of my vacation. I am off for two weeks. Today I just sat around. I am making pulled pork sandwhiches and cleaning for when my family comes. Thursday, my mom and dad and brothers are coming. They are staying here for few days on their way to Colorado. We were suppose to go, but things kept coming up and now I am glad that we are not going because I do not want to be around family during the next week. Anyways, that is all there is to report. Sorry for no pictures.
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